the top 10 fallacies christians believe about atheists. . .

wrote this some time ago; thought i’d put it here. . .

Here is a rant. It is very “ranty” because I am in a ranty mood–>you have been warned. . .

wow, that dawkins is one hella-militant SOB!

10. Atheists share a certain worldview.
Atheism brings no values or paradiagms with it. Atheism is merely the absence of a belief in gods. Atheists may certainly have values and often have similar ideas. But there is no worldview that is intrinsic to Atheism. And you should be grateful for that, because we would have otherwise taken over the world by now and made you theists our slaves and your women our concubines. . . oops, sorry, I have been reading the Old Testament lately.

9. Atheists reject god so they can be free to sin.
First of all, Atheists don’t “reject” god. We just don’t believe any gods exist. To say we “reject” god is like saying we reject someone because we are angry with them or dislike them for some reason. There is no god, so there is nothing for us to reject. If you haven’t made an offer on my house, have I rejected your offer? Of course not. Second, our lack of belief is not simply a ploy to justify our freedom. Atheists don’t sin [in any meaningful sense] any more than believers do, so there goes that motivation. Finally, not pretending to believe in something that our reason shows to be bullshit, and thereby not living a shallow hypocritical lifestyle, is morally superior to being a believer anyway. So I guess Atheists don’t believe in god in part because they are more ethical people and not in order to be free to sin. BOOAAA!!!

8. Atheists are unhappy people.
, so much idiocy packed into one small erroneous statement. . . First, the happiness of a person is probably not a good indicator of god’s existence [see George Bernard Shaw]. Second, I think Atheists tend to be more in tune with the crap that is happening in the world, so it may be that there are more Atheists that are saddened by the world, but just like any other people-group, Atheists come with a variety of “happy-levels”. Some of us are sad, most of us are average and some are those happy-all-the-time annoying fucktards that make you want to drown a puppy and give it to them for their birthday. Again, most of us are average in our happy-levels; though we’d be a lot happier if there weren’t so many damn religious nutters out there running around taking away human-rights and trying to tell us how to eat, drink, smoke and screw!

7. Atheists are immoral, selfish people.
Atheists are underrepresented in prison, and give as much to those in need as believers [if not more]. Does that seem wrong to you believers? That’s because you are part of a system that invents completely arbitrary ideas about morality, encourages others to hide their shortcomings for fear of being judged “unholy” and counts giving money to your little social clubs as being selfless.

6. Atheists are communists.
That’s like saying trumpet players are dumb [well maybe. . .]. Some atheists are communists, most are not. Some believers are communist as well–>see Acts 2 and 4 for some stuff that if adopted by a government would have believers screaming about the red threat. And more importantly, most believers can scarcely articulate what Communism is, let alone respond to it in a thinking manner. Though I am not a Communist, this is one of those things that pisses me off because I always hear arrogant religious nutters going on about Communism like it is the worst possible idea in the world. Last time I checked, Capitalism was pretty fucked up.

5. Atheists think they know god doesn’t exist.
Any Atheist that agrees with you is also wrong. We simply cannot know that something does not exist unless we have a god-like way of knowing [which we do not]. We don’t believe in gods, but we acknowledge that we could be wrong. However, we see no positive reasons for accepting the idea that gods exist. Just like you see no positive reasons for accepting the idea that licking the inside of a cat’s colon would be a yummy experience. You never know, it might taste good–>but I don’t blame you for not joining the SCCL [Society of Cat Colon Lickers].

4. Atheists have faith just like believers do, but it is in the non-existence of god.
With apologies to morons like Ray Comfort, this is one of those things that we always hear and it drives us bonkers. It does not take more faith to be an Atheist than to be a Christian unless the meaning of the word faith is “reason”. Saying that Atheism is a faith is like asking what gear my boots are in. Does that sound strange and confusing to you? Good! That’s how it sounds to us when you say we have faith that god doesn’t exist. Do you believe in purple leprechauns that live in your nose? No? How much faith do you exercise in order to not believe in them? Exactly!

3. Atheists believe in themselves and that’s a bad thing.
mostly and a little bit right. Let’s look at the right part first: Atheists do believe in themselves to the extent that they cannot rely on a fairy sky-god to live their life for them. If I make a mistake, I cannot ask god to fix it, so I believe that it matters what I do. That’s a good thing. We realize that this is the only life we get and what we do matters because there is no one else waiting to swoop down and fix our problems. When we are at our best, that realization makes us work hard for what we want to achieve. More importantly, that realization makes us realists–>and that is a very good thing.
And now the aggravating wrong:
So often when believers make this claim they seem to envision that Atheists [especially those Humanist Atheists] ascribe almost supernatural powers to themselves. In other words, because Atheists don’t accept all the supernatural nonsense of gods, they must think they are all-capable. Nope, not even close. Most Atheists are probably able to see what they can do [because we don’t tend to believe in false guilt which can shackle a person and warp their sense of capability], but are also acutely aware of what they cannot do. Yes, we can make the world a better place than it is, but we cannot make this a utopian paradise, where all are loved, where all have full bellies and there is no hate. People will always be asshats, and anyone who thinks otherwise has created their own religion–>and that is not Atheism.

2. Atheists live empty, meaningless lives.
, and only someone who has swallowed the god lie would ever think that. In other words that charge against Atheism only makes sense if you assume that meaning is an outside “objective” reality existing independently of us. We find our own meaning, and the fact that in 100 years we will no longer be here does not take away the validity of this present meaning. Think of it this way: Something to which I ascribe beauty does not become less beautiful to me when I realize that the universe does not consider beauty, does it? Of course not, and the same goes for meaning and purpose. My life has meaning and purpose because I find meaning and purpose in my life. That is a great and real purpose because I choose it. As I grow and change, so might my meaning and purpose. So I can contemplate my place in the world knowing both that the sky is the limit for me and that I need not waste time feeling guilty for not living up to an outsider’s idea about what my life should be. Now that is a beautiful thing indeed. . .

1. Atheists are part of a larger conspiracy involving Satan, the end times and the new world order.
Okay, you got us on this one
. Speaking for myself, Satan has told me that I can continue to kick bunnies, drown puppies and watch reruns of Laverne and Shirley as long as I keep advancing His kingdom. . . actually it would be sweet if life were so simple. When religious nutters envision this giant godless conspiracy, they really give Atheists too much credit [for once]. If only we were so organized–>you intellectually lazy folks would have completely lost the “culture war” eons ago. Nope, the boring truth of the matter is that to the extent that we are active, we are basically looking for equality and not oligarchy. Have your faith, have your mosques, prayers, bible studies and potluck dinners. Just stop disallowing others from enjoying the rights that you have taken for granted for so very long.

Those are the top 10 fallacies theists have about Atheists. Now stop being a dork and go mow your Atheist neighbour’s lawn!


~ by jcim on September 7, 2010.

One Response to “the top 10 fallacies christians believe about atheists. . .”

  1. hmm, i like this post even though it is mine. no wait, especially because it’s mine. =D

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